My Spouse Blames Alcohol for the Affair — Should I Accept That Excuse?

When an unfaithful partner attributes their affair to alcohol use, it can leave the betrayed partner in a deeply confusing position. On one hand, there may be some truth to the role that substance use played in lowering inhibitions. On the other hand, accepting alcohol as the primary explanation can feel like it lets the unfaithful partner off the hook and sidesteps the deeper issues of personal responsibility and relational breakdown that the affair represents.

In this episode of Ask Dr. Talal, Dr. Talal H. Alsaleem, PsyD, LMFT unpacks the relationship between alcohol and infidelity, examining when substance use is a legitimate contributing factor and when it is used as an avoidance mechanism. He helps betrayed partners discern the difference and understand what a meaningful, accountable response from an unfaithful partner actually looks like.