Help please…any advice would be appreciated
Married a year and a half; W 49 H 45. Find out husband was (still is) cheating with a 41 year old waitress. Have been unable to garner concrete proof, such as photos, or catching them together. Husband denies even knowing her but yet stopped by restaurant for breakfast for a year or longer while she was working. Many indicators that they see each other- very lengthy long story. (Any questions feel free to ask I will explain.)
Husband went through all the stages: emotional distance, picking arguments, defensiveness, inciting every thing that is wrong with me. Went through this cycle for about 6 months…finally I woke up and started digging a bit and eventually figured it all out. I was SO SO NAIVE AND IT NEVER ENTERED MY MIND THAT HE WAS CHEATING ON ME, I trusted him and had faith in him as my husband. He owns and operates several businesses so I know he is under a great deal of pressure and through all the indicators I’m thinking it is business related. NOT!
**Please forgive me if this is all muddled but I am emotionally drained and mentally worn out.**
OW was proud enough to post on her FB page constant updates about our marital problems and their once in a lifetime love (unbeknownst to me for a long time as I do not have FB) of course she never used our names. When I confronted husband about her post (after asking him about her and if he was friends with her- he denied knowing her) he would not look at her FB post. Told me if I was looking and keeping up with her post and it hurt me that was good for me as it was none of my business. This happened last summer 2016.
It has been roller coaster ride since up until about 8 weeks ago. Me accusing and him denying. His behavior during has run hot and cold.
All along husband claims he loves me and I am the love of his life etc. But he makes a point to stay near by her place of employment during the time she goes into work or is getting off of work.
I have contemplated filing for divorce two times. I am torn because I do love my husband or who I thought he was….and I want my marriage to work but not sure if it’s even worth it. I don’t understand. For me it is plain and simple- if you no longer love or want the person your married to tell them, part ways and move on. Why play games??? To me if you are seeing another woman then you do not love the woman you are married to.
So do I file for divorce with out concrete proof?? Or do I continue the charade until the truth comes out or he tires of the marriage or tires of her??