My Spouse Doesn’t Want Me Talking to My Ex — Is That Reasonable After Infidelity?

When one partner expresses discomfort with the other maintaining contact with an ex, it can quickly become a source of tension and disagreement — particularly in relationships where trust has already been strained. The partner making the request may feel their concern is legitimate and protective; the other may feel that the request is controlling or unfair. Understanding the difference between a reasonable boundary and an unreasonable restriction requires honest and nuanced conversation.

In this episode of Ask Dr. Talal, Dr. Talal H. Alsaleem, PsyD, LMFT addresses the question of whether a spouse’s objection to contact with an ex is a reasonable boundary or an overreach, especially in the context of a relationship recovering from infidelity. He helps couples understand how to evaluate this kind of request with empathy and clarity, and how to reach agreements that genuinely support both partners’ sense of security.