Hello, this is my first time in a site. I will start by saying I am the cheater. I can’t even describe the pain I feel for what I did. It happened during a fight where I left him for several weeks. I had an affair with a ex boyfriend. Although we were sperated and fighting at the time of the affair there is no excuse for my actions. I slept with another man a day after I left him. My actions are literally eating me up inside. I hurt the love of my life in so many ways! I must say that our marriage witch was still a new marriage although we have been together for 7 years, was not doing well. There is no excuse for what I did.
My husband to my knowledge agreed to try to stay together and fix our marriage. It has been nothing but hell. I lied for several weeks before I was able to tell him what happened during my two week affair. I felt that discussing it would only make the situation worse. He ask me a lot of personal question and wants details of my actions. I find this hard to handle and odd. After telling me he was willing to try and fix things I caught him talking to several other women. And lately he has been hiding his phone and deleting messages. I worry he is just trying to hurt me the way I hurt him. He gas been very emotionally abusive. I know that what I did was very wrong and I don’t even deserve this second chance. But I also don’t deserve the way I’m being treated. I love my husband and I would be lost if he left me. Although I know at this time it’s my fault if he does. I feel like all of his actions he justifies with my affair. Although he is the one choosing to treat me bad. He tells me it’s my fault and I caused all this. I don’t know what to do or how to act. I’m emotionally drained. I have done everything he has asked and he keeps telling me that there are other women. I’m lost and I don’t know what to do.