You’ve discovered that your husband has cheated on you. Maybe you’ve discovered incriminating emails or text messages from his lover, or, worse yet, have actually seen them together. Your world is crashing down. You feel like a nuclear bomb just decimated your entire world, and you are trying to shield yourself from the fallout. This is very likely the most painful experience you’ve ever had. You’ve been sucker punched in the soul. Infidelity in marriage makes you doubt everything, including your own judgement.
You are so confused. Your emotions are volatile – one minute you’re so angry you could claw his eyes out, the next moment you’re devastated with grief because you fear he will to leave you for his affair partner.
You never wanted a divorce, but somehow you are now in this position. Do you take him back or blow up your family? What about the kids? It’s all so unfair!
Ever since you were a young woman, you told all your friends that if your man ever cheated on you, you would be so out of there. But life isn’t black and white anymore, is it? You love your husband. Sure, there might have been issues, but you know that marriage is work.
You’ve built a life together. You have a home. You have children. You cringe at the idea of being a single mother and hitting the dating scene. He seems sincere in wanting to work things out. You want to stay married. But then you think to yourself, “Only weak women stay with cheaters. Strong women walk!” Then you loop and want a divorce, until you think of your kids being spilt between two homes…. and now you want to stay married. Rinse, Repeat.
You can’t even think straight and you keep going through a never ending loop of ambivalence. You will never get unstuck until you develop criteria around if your husband is sincere in wanting your marriage to recover after infidelity.
Dr. Caroline Madden, is a Licensed Marriage & Family therapist who specializes in helping women recover from their husband’s infidelity. In Fool Me Once, she shares the criteria she uses to determine if a man is truly remorseful and determined to save his marriage or if he is likely to cheat again.
Here is some of the information she shares:
5 Things That Look Suspicious (But Probably Aren’t)
5 Signs You Should Consider Giving Him Another Chance
7 Signs He is Going to Cheat Again (And You Will Be Hurt Again)
Infidelity in marriage is traumatic and you need to take time to assess the situation. Fool Me Once will give you the tools you need to evaluate your relationship. It will help you determine whether you should trust your husband or not and decide if your marriage is worth saving.
As they say “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”Published in