How Self-Love Leads To Happiness
If you are looking for happiness, you have come to the right place. I learned the secret years ago that changed my life – permanently!
I found some very interesting results while searching for trending articles on the subject of happiness and being happy.
- 128,000,000 searched for happy
- 14,700,000 searched for happiness
Only 2,940,000 searched for self-love. In Google Adwords, 55 million searched for HAPPY, whereas just over 800,000 looked for self-esteem.
Today, I am happy, positive, vibrant, youthful and completely happy, no matter where I am or who I am with.
None of the old insecurities or pain are present. I am more healthy and fit now than I was twenty years ago. What changed? I let go of my old story, cleared the patterns, emotions and old beliefs that no longer served me and grew to totally love and accept myself and what is.
I stopped focusing on my problems and issues and looked at the infinite possibilities for myself instead. I stopped trying to be the perfect wife, mother, and daughter. I stopped trying to please everyone else, which left me resentful and angry. I began to look inside of me for what was causing me pain and suffering rather than looking for a stop-gap measure like a relationship, new home or place to make me happy. I recognized that happiness comes from me, rather than something outside of me.
NOTE from Jennifer:
There is a lot of information on this page – it is like an e-book or workshop. Come back and re-read it often. Be consistent with this work and notice the changes that occur.
Happiness is a choice I make every day. I choose to be happy. JEM
I blamed others for my unhappiness
I used to be the poster child for negativity and victimhood. I was suffering emotionally, physically in terrible pain and negativity. I wasn’t happy with my job, where I lived or my marriage. I had severe trauma in childhood that continued to cause me pain in my adulthood unconsciously.
I constantly bashed myself with my thoughts and words. I was surrounded by others who gossiped, complained and joined me in my misery.
I wasn’t grateful for being alive. I sat in judgment of others. I didn’t take responsibility for myself, my actions or my health. I expected others to make me happy. I had no self-discipline. I complained at work and was fired from a great job for being so negative in my early years. Negativity is contagious and I was infecting everyone around me.
“Faking it” was my middle name
I felt unattractive, fat, depressed, anxious, needy and unhappy. I worried incessantly. I spent money like a drunken sailor. I struggled with self-acceptance. I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. I felt like I didn’t belong. I was vacillated from aggressive to mousey. I was reactive, emotionally volatile and critical of myself and others. I compared myself to others. I couldn’t forgive anyone and lived in blame. I envied what others had and didn’t have gratitude for being alive.
No matter what successes I had, it was never enough. I was always looking for more. I had addictions to food, sweets, shopping, sex, and relationships.
I jumped from one bad relationship to another, till I found I was the common denominator in all my relationships!
I pushed my energy to make things happen. I didn’t recognize the ease or beauty of allowing and creating with my thoughts. I didn’t see that I always had a choice of how I perceived events in my life. I didn’t take responsibility for creating with my thoughts. Nor did I recognize that The Universe is always supporting us by reflecting our thoughts back to us through life events to show us what we are thinking.
I was fighting with myself, God and others.
The Good News!
After thirty years of work on my self-esteem, I found that self-love leads to happiness. Since I found the path to happiness and live in it every day, I can help guide you there as well. Whether you read my blog, books or do private sessions with me, being here will help you. I learned the secret to permanent happiness. I am happy to share it with you. When you are happy with yourself, your life and relationships improve, you begin to find joy in small things.
Begin shifting your life for a joy-filled existence by doing the following every day.
1. Understand the why behind changing your thoughts. Our thoughts are the creative force in our Universe. We create the world around us with what we think and believe. If you think, I am always alone, there is never anyone to help me, I will always be alone. You will be always alone with no one to help you. Each thought you think is like a prayer. Prayers are always answered, we just don’t realize that our negative thoughts create our personal universe. This is what is meant by our universe is a hologram.
If you feel like a victim you will attract events in your life that will prove that you are indeed a victim. If you feel that life is unfair, you will draw events to you that proves you are correct, life is unfair – for you. Our thoughts are the magnet for life events, people, and situations. Once you consistently shift your thoughts to be positive you attract positive events and people to you.
How would it be if all your thoughts were self-hating? How would it be for you and your life if your thoughts were all loving? How different would your life be if you were happy with you?
2. Surround yourself with happy, positive people. Negative people bring us down. Some relationships do not support a positive mindset. Pick your friends carefully, they are very important. There are many people that want you to join them in their misery, like me (in the past). Relationships are either anchors or sails. They either boost you or drag you down. Choose your friends wisely.
3. Use mantras and affirmations daily. We have the power to re-program our mind when we replace negative thoughts consistently with mantras. A mantra is a phrase which is repeated silently or out loud multiple times a day for 21 days or more. It takes 21 days to change a bad habit. Negative thinking is habitual and often obsessive. It can be overcome with daily mantras. My mind became silent when I did mantras back in 2007. No more negative mind chatter. This stuff works! Pick one and do it for a whole month, slowly in the background of your mind, while you shower, drive, cook, and work. Just watch what happens. Let me know how you did! Or message me on FaceBook.
I LOVE ME
I AM LOVED
I AM SAFE
I AM SECURE
Here is one I learned when I did my hypnotherapy course in 1998.
Every day in every way, my life is getting better and better.
4. Get some help. Hire a coach that has healed their past and loves themselves. Ask for help from your loved ones to shift your perspective and thoughts. There are other ways to get help as well. Prayers are answered, ask: “How can I love and accept myself completely?”
5. Be grateful for yourself, being alive and all that you have now. When life is good and things are easy, gratitude is easy. You just got a promotion? YAY! Say thank you! You just managed to pay your rent with forty-five cents left over? YAY! Thank you! You just woke up this morning? YAY! THANK YOU!
Gratitude opens your heart and is the fastest way to shift your thoughts from negative to positive. Write a list of things daily that you are grateful for. Reflect on how you would feel if you had absolutely nothing, like homeless people. Then go back and write with a grateful heart all the things you are truly grateful for.
Maybe you can’t think of anything to feel grateful for? Watch this video and then say a prayer for having a body, arms, legs, teeth, the ability to walk, swim and run.
6. Be present. Focusing on what you didn’t do in the past (regrets, shame, guilt) or what could potentially happen in the future causes you to suffer. When we resist being in the present moment we miss out on life. When we are distracted by the past story we can’t move into a new way of being today.
7. Choose happiness. Every day we have the gift of choice. Make the conscious choice to be happy. Instead of getting upset about something ask yourself how you can choose something different? How can I look at this situation to learn and grow instead of complaining? What am I learning here? Where have I experienced this in the past? How can I feel differently about this situation? How is it helping me? What good can come out of this situation?
Questions are a powerful way to manifest your desires. I use questions daily to manifest inspiration, answers, and Guidance.
8. Trust in a Higher Power or something greater than yourself. Whether you believe in God, The Divine, Jesus, Buddha, Allah, your High Self, The Universe does not matter. If you don’t believe in something greater than you, you feel unsupported. When I began to trust in The Universe’s power to Guide, support me and answer my questions truthfully my life and the world changed permanently. Having a relationship with this Higher Power shifts your consciousness as you begin to tap into Universal Consciousness.
I talk to the plants, birds, lizards, the rocks, the earth, sun, moon, stars as if they are my friends. Yes, my son David said they would put me in a home for my craziness – yet they laugh about how happy I am.
They know what I do works!
9. Help others. Being in service to others in some way can allow you to see just how fortunate you are. When we lived in Boulder, we had a homeless man stay with us when he couldn’t get into the shelter over the cold Colorado winter. We found him to be so grateful and generous for just being able to have a hot shower and do his laundry without someone stealing his shoes or clothes.
Giving back opens your heart and gives you a surge of happiness that is indescribable. I usually work in a shelter for Thanksgiving, serving those in need. It always makes me feel such gratitude for what I have.
What challenges do you have? Is there anything you would add to these nine steps? Send me an e-mail with your feedback. I would love to hear from you.
Testimonial From A Mother:
Hi Jennifer,I am so amazed and delighted in the difference that you have helped Lauren achieve thus far!!! Her whole aura and energy have totally changed. I saw Lauren smile & really laugh for the first time since Nov 2015!!! I’m so grateful for you and your wonderful, kind and compassionate work with her. You are a God-Send.Also, the energy in the whole house has changed, it feels sweet and clear, no negativity hanging around. Julie
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of the forthcoming book: HAPPY HERE, HAPPY ANYWHERE.
Find Jennifer’s books on Amazon.Published in Relationship