I know what it feels like to be lied to and cheated on. It has happened to me multiple times. I discovered the secret to attracting a partner who not only won’t cheat but will respect and honor you as you are, without trying to change you.
What I discovered led me to do some very deep work that changed my inner game forever!
When we discover that someone has cheated, we feel small, insignificant and insecure about ourselves. Emotional abandonment and rejection leave us reeling often for years if we do nothing about it. I remember when it happened to me, I gained thirty pounds trying to fill the void that the betrayal left me feeling. I doubted and blamed myself and cried for three months. I wondered after all the personal growth work I had done how could I have been so blind-sided? I was thought I had healed it all.
The Truth About Cheaters
Even when we have been faithful to our partner there are ways that we lied to them. We might have been honest in our actions, but we probably didn’t speak out when they were angry or did things we didn’t agree with in order to keep our relationship conflict-free. We might have kept quiet about their drinking or late nights. Maybe we didn’t speak up when they had an orgasm and we didn’t. We might have told ourselves that it wasn’t that important. Maybe we allowed our personal boundaries to be crossed multiple times because we were afraid we would lose them. Whatever truths we kept hidden from our partner is how we cheated ourselves. If we cheat ourselves we attract cheaters. If we are in denial we are lying to ourselves and attract others who lie to us also.
As above so below
As within so without
Whatever energy we hold we attract
We Attract What We Are
Whatever energy we hold is what we attract. If we are afraid of anger we attract a partner who is angry. If we’ve been abused in the past and haven’t dealt with this issue on a soul level, we attract abusers. If we feel like a victim, we attract people who will victimize us. If we are insecure or needy, we attract a partner who is insecure and needs to have their virility or power constantly reflected back by others who are attracted to them. If we are emotionally unavailable, we attract someone who might be married, or can’t commit to us because we aren’t in vibrational alignment with our true selves or soul. If we are wishy-washy and have difficulty making decisions we attract someone who can’t commit.
The Good News
We all deserve love. Just because it happened in the past doesn’t mean we have to drag those behaviors into our future. All we have to do is raise our vibration to that of unconditional love.
Why We Continue To Get What We Don’t Want
When we have a mindset that doesn’t reflect our desires the unconscious mind won’t allow it. Our conscious mind and unconscious mind must be congruent or in agreement. The unconscious mind was created to protect us. If you have a story playing in the background that love hurts, men are horrible, women cheat, hatred or resentment towards an ex then we can’t get a love that will be committed, respectful or honoring of our true self.
We have to be in alignment with our God-self or High-self. We have to think, feel and sit in the energy of love to attract real love to us. Is it possible? Absolutely, but it takes work. It took me over thirty years of working on myself on my own. Working with someone who is already self-actualized speeds up the process, which is why I do what I do today. I have been where you are and have healed the past. I no longer focus on the pain and suffering of my childhood. We have to heal the victim inside and forgive everyone before we will have a love that is unconditional and won’t attempt to change us.
We have to lovingly accept ourselves with all our faults, foibles, warts and all!
Attempting To FIX THEM
Think back to your past relationship. Did you accept them as they were, or did you attempt to “fix them?”
I understand. It feels challenging. I’ve been there too. I used to find a guy and then try to fix him to “help him.” The problem with the attracting a fixer-upper is that we have to fix ourselves first. When we focus on the other our attention is in the wrong direction. We have to focus on our inner game or mindset first. We have to lovingly accept ourselves with all our faults and foibles, warts and all! We need to have positive self-talk about the way we look and who we are. We need to know ourselves and be completely authentic to attract someone who will be committed to us.
The Vortex Is Real!
We can get into the vortex when we know how to play the game of life. When we can look for the positive in each situation and trust the Universe is conspiring FOR US, rather than against us we stand in faith. When all these things are true we are in alignment with our high self, our soul and truest version of who we are. When we are in complete alignment we stop telling our story of pain and sorrow and live in the present breathing in deeply and trusting that the Universe is reordering itself for our highest good. I love helping others find love and all things wonderful in their lives!
The Steps To Being Uncheatable Onable
- To find the love we have to be love and the person we have to love most of all is ourselves.
- Stop focusing on everyone else and focus on the most important person in the world, YOU!
- Shift your perspective and look at yourself with a soft focus rather than a drill Sargent.
- Look at all the areas you lie to yourself, compassionately begin to tell yourself the truth instead of lies.
- Be authentic. Anything fake is energetically transmitted to those we attract. The more authentic and transparent we are, the more authentic and transparent our partner will be.
- Stop criticizing everyone especially you.
- Notice judgment and negativity when it comes up and shift to a loving thought like; I LOVE ME.
- Be consistent with positive thoughts, words, and actions.
- Use mantras every day to change the unconscious mind. It takes work to shift the years of self-deprecation. We didn’t get here overnight, we won’t change our minds in 24 hours.
- Know you are worth doing this inner work.
- Know you have value. When you begin to value yourself rather than accept bread crumbs the people that show up will also value you for who you are.
- Eliminate “frenemies” who are negative or criticize you.
- Remember we train others how to treat us daily. Set firm boundaries and speak up when they are crossed without anger.
- Learn to look at yourself through eyes of love rather than negativity.
- Stand in front of the mirror every day and look into your eyes and tell yourself, “I love you.” If you can’t do it, you don’t love you.
Don’t give up!
Everything that shows up is a reflection of your thoughts and beliefs.
Know that the universe is working to bring us whatever we focus on. If we focus on being hurt, we will be hurt. If we focus on being cheated, we will be cheated on.
Change your mindset.
Above all, be true to yourself. Get to know you, before you spend another moment attempting to get to know a potential partner.
Have clarity on what you want and don’t want. Until we are completely clear the universe can’t bring it to us.
When we become loving toward ourselves, others intuitively feel it. We become a magnet for love and are able to manifest other wonderful events into our lives. The higher our vibration becomes, the better we feel. When we love ourselves, our lives shift in powerfully positive ways. We attract people who vibrate at a higher level. We get the job we dream of and stop having such issues with money, family, and conflict.
I am in your corner. If I can do it, so can you. I went from being a victim due to childhood trauma to be a creator in my life. I help women and some men find the love they deserve. How do I do it? I have a proprietary system that has been proven to work for anyone who uses it. I shift mindset, clear the past energies and help you forgive everyone. Without forgiveness, we continue to attract what we don’t want. It took me over thirty years to get here. Working with me can get you there in months. Here are two stories of clients who found love in a matter of months, many took only weeks.
Amanda came to me in May feeling needy and in despair. She had been dating a guy she wasn’t attracted to who left her feeling broken, lost and small. She was afraid and needed a better job. She applied for one and said she was terrible at interviews. Needless to say, she didn’t get it. Within two weeks she found a man she felt sexually attracted to who treated her with respect. Three months later she got the dream promotion that alluded her just three months earlier. She began to stand up for herself and ask for what she wanted. She was able to set boundaries as she respected herself more. She felt empowered and much happier with herself and life within eight months.
Michelle had a history of attracting men who lied, cheated and needed to be financially supported. She loved the bad boys and they showed how little she loved herself by cheating, lying and stealing from her. Within months Michelle had the courage to date someone very different. I encouraged her to step outside of her comfort zone to choose someone who wasn’t a bad boy since they didn’t serve her in the past. Over a year later, Michelle is still in the relationship she attracted when we worked together. She is happier than she has ever been with a committed, respectful man.
Stephanie had been married for nearly twenty years when we began working together. She complained about her husband because he wasn’t focused, grounded or aware. Now she is more in love with this man than she was before they married. Her life is happier and more fulfilling now that she is happy with herself, has let go of the need to be a perfectionist or to have her mother be different than she is.
For the next two weeks, I am offering a free twenty-minute session for you to discover how working with me could help you find the life and love you so deserve.Published in